PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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