How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
