We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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