lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
handjob tips. give me some.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Randomize
