Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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