I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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