Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize