so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
