remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
