Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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