Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
