a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
