And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
smell my finger.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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