every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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