It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
