Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
