so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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