1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck appropriateness.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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