I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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