i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
