He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
