Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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