If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
