I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I FOUND THE LEGS
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
