You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
