Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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