Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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