I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
