How'd it feel making her break her religion?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
