I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
