Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
