mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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