No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
