Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize