from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
