Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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