jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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