So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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