She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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