If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think im going to throw up on grandma
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
