Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
