Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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