you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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