You made me cry and you don't even care
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
