Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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