i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize