The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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