Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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