You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
