i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I love you. Go after that dick
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
