she looked like the before picture.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
