thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
