didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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