Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
