are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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