he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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