Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
