Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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