Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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