My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
