OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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