i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
