she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
