Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
