I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
