You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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