Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think im going to throw up on grandma
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
