I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
