dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
