Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
